Archive for the ‘Random ramblings’ Category

I’ll warn you now: this may be long. So if you don’t have a minute or two, just stop reading now.

To preface, I’ve been in a bit of a spiritual funk lately.  I’ve been totally unable to get myself to spend any time reading the bible or anything else that might offer spiritual guidance. Praying has felt like talking to the ceiling. And I really haven’t cared.

For years, I’ve felt emotionally disengaged from anything spiritual. And I’ve been fine with that. Emotions are fickle things, not something I want to base anything as significant as my spiritual life on. No matter how I feel, certain things are true. God is real. He is sovereign. He loves me. Even when circumstances make it hard to feel that way, that is Truth. I will base my life on what I know to be true, not what I feel.

But then, I started to forget how I know these truths to be true. The forgetting happened slowly, without me really being aware of it. I reached a point where I would sing the songs at church on Sunday, questioning whether I truly believed what I sang. I certainly didn’t feel amazed at the grace of God, and now I wasn’t even sure I knew it to be true. I knew that I used to know, but I could no longer remember why. It bothered me.

Then we went to Colorado this summer. Listened to some great speakers like Tim Keller and Keith Battle. I felt like the seized-up gears of my brain were starting to be oiled, just a little.  Then we heard Josh McDowell speak, and got a copy of his book “More than a Carpenter.” It’s a little book that I read years ago, probably in college, but had forgotten most of. Rereading that made those rusty gears start turning again. (If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it.)  I remembered how and why I have based my life on certain truths, and once again knew that I really do believe those truths.  My intellect was again engaged with the one true God. And it was good.

Once my brain began to reconnect with the truth of God’s word and God’s world, I started to consider my emotions. It began with spending some time in the mountains. Looking around me, I was reminded that the creator of all the majesty, beauty, power, and even fragility that was before me had also created me. Loved me. Sacrificed himself for me. And I felt something. A sense of awe, of thankfulness, of wonder.

The last night of our conference, I thought about how I’d felt on the mountain and began to ponder why I don’t like to show emotion when it relates to spiritual matters. What am I afraid of? And I realized that for years, I have feared that allowing my emotions to surface would make me think less. Back in college, I was briefly involved with a group that put a lot of emphasis on “feeling” spiritual, and not so much on really knowing God. If you didn’t have the right feelings and the right emotional reactions, then you must not be spiritual enough. Ever since, I’ve pushed back against that by saying that emotions have nothing to do with it. And they don’t. But they do.

That night in Colorado, I realized that it is possible for me to engage both my mind and my emotions. Emotions aren’t a spiritual barometer. They’re not stable enough to use as a foundation for anything. But they can be part of an appropriate response to the love of an almighty God.

Now, don’t expect me to go getting all teary-eyed every time I speak (or sing) about God. That’s just not me. But I hope that I’ll continue to trust both God and those around me enough to know that I can be intellectually engaged and still allow my emotions to flow.

Call me Crunchy

April 13, 2009

I’ve started trying to make my own cleaning products. There are a few reasons that I decided to go this route. One is simply to save some money. Another is that I’d like to have the kids doing more housework, and I thought it would be better if they were using products that aren’t extremely toxic. A third reason is that I’ve known for a long time that certain cleaning products set off Tim’s asthma, and even bother me sometimes. A recent article in the Wall Street Journal told about a certain chemical that’s in many, many cleaning products which is known to cause respiratory problems in commercial and industrial settings. That was enough to put me over the edge and start looking for recipes.

The first thing I tried is a homemade laundry detergent. It’s a combination of borax, washing soda, fels-naptha soap and oxi-clean. I’ve only done a few loads of sheets and towels with it so far, so I can’t give much of an evaluation.  I’ll have to try it on some of Messy Micah’s clothes to give it a real test. I saw some other recipes on the web that involved cooking the ingredients into sort of a slimy goop, but that just didn’t sound like much fun. This one is all dry ingredients and took me all of about 5 minutes to make.

The next thing I went with was tried-and-true vinegar. I’m using a solution of about half-and-half white vinegar and water in a spray bottle. This is working well on the countertops and sinks, both in the bathrooms and kitchen. It didn’t do so well on the refrigerator or tile floor, though. It left both very streaky and not very clean. I had to go back over the fridge with glass cleaner.

The thing that had me the most excited was one that seemed odd to me. I read somewhere that olive oil is good for polishing stainless appliances. It is amazing! Since moving into this house almost three years ago I’ve used different products on my dishwasher and stove–stainless wipes, glass cleaner, all-purpose cleaner–and none of them have been great. I used some light olive oil (not the expensive kind) on a soft cloth, wiped it on, then buffed it off with a clean soft cloth. My appliances look better than they have since we moved in. It took off the grungy drips on the dishwasher, splattered spots on the front of the stove, fingerprints off the handles, everything. And they’re wiping clean (with a dry towel) more easily since doing that. I’ll definitely keep that up.

I was so jazzed from that success that I decided to try it on my cabinets. Results there were more mixed. Our cabinets have a dark cherry-ish finish and show every little water spot, fingerprint, and everything else. I’ve had a hard time getting and keeping them clean. The olive oil seemed to take off some of the gunk, but didn’t leave a great finish. I switched to a mineral oil-based furniture oil that I had on hand just to compare. The mineral oil is a lot thinner and seemed to leave a nicer finish, but didn’t take as much of the dirty stuff off. And by the next day, the oil finish had dried off and they didn’t look all that different from when I started. I think I’m going to have to do some more experimenting there. I will say that the olive oil left my hands feeling soft; the mineral oil had the opposite effect.

My hardest challenge so far has been the kitchen floor. My favorite product on it has always been Spic-N-Span (liquid form, diluted in a bucket of hot water). It leaves the floor really clean with no residue or streaks. I’ve also used diluted Lysol cleaner in a Swiffer WetJet, which does okay. I tried putting vinegar and water into the WetJet with terrible results. The floor was streaky and still really dirty. So then I tried mixing up an all-purpose cleaner recipe I found online–borax, castile soap, washing soda and water. I sprayed it on with a spray-bottle and mopped it up with a wet rag on a Swiffer. It seemed to get the floor a lot cleaner and didn’t leave streaks, but has left a kind-of sticky residue that’s getting dirty really quickly. I’m not sure what to try next. Any suggestions?

Challah, how are you?

September 11, 2008

A few weeks ago I decided to try my hand at making challah. I searched the web for recipes, and picked one based on what ingredients I had (or didn’t have) on hand. Six and a half hours later, here’s what I had:

Beautiful! Gorgeous! So much better looking than I expected!

But…

it tasted awful. Dry. Bland. Almost bitter. Yuck.

I decided to try again today. I searched for another recipe, read the reviews and suggested changes, and went for it. Four and a half hours later, here’s what I have:

Not quite as beautiful as last time, but not too bad.

The taste? Better than my first attempt. Much sweeter and more moist. But still, not quite right either in flavor or texture. The dough was so soft and sticky that I had to keep adding more and more flour. The recipe called for 8 cups. I must have used at least 10. I also think I didn’t knead it for long enough, but it was hard to do when it was so sticky.

I guess I have to keep looking for another recipe. Any suggestions, anyone?

Taxi

July 31, 2008

So from the title of this post alone you can probably figure out where this is going! Taxi rides anywhere in the world can strike terror in your heart at the very thought. It’s certainly the case here. In general people obey the traffic laws here and drive in a logical and predictable way. Predictably aggressive, yes, but at least you know that the cars are all going to be pushy.

The taxi however was completely unpredictable, and more aggressive than I have ever experienced, even in China! The streets are narrow and winding and driving is on the right side like America. We pulled up behind a line of maybe 6 cars waiting to go through an intersection (most are uncontrolled, no stop signs or lights). He overtakes them all on the wrong side of the road, goes through the intersection on the wrong side and on the other side of the intersection, predictably, is heading into oncoming traffic. Does he get back over on the right side? NO! Of course not, he’s a taxi! He jogs LEFT and keeps going down the street not only on the wrong side but totally making a new lane for himself to the LEFT of oncoming traffic.

You have to admire cab drivers who want to make good time for their riders.

Cause and effect

June 6, 2008

…or, “When will they get it?”

I just spent quite a bit of time consoling Ellie over her lack of crayons. Ellie LOVES to color. However, like many kids she does not love to clean up her crayons.

My kids were each given a box of 24 Crayola crayons some time ago. I actually wrote each girl’s initial on EVERY SINGLE CRAYON in every box. Think I’m anal beyond belief overly organized? Not if you knew how much my kids bicker, fight and argue over every single item in existence. Either they’re fighting because they want to claim whatever the item(s) may be (”That’s MINE!”), or they’re fighting because they don’t want to pick them up (”But SHE got them out!”).

So as I was saying, Ellie loves to color but not clean up. When she’s finished coloring, instead of putting her own crayons into her own craft box she tends to just throw them into the first available space. This may be her sister’s craft box, the communal craft drawer, or who knows where. I occasionally go through the crayons in each girl’s box and re-sort them, but I avoid the big drawer o’ junk and don’t make much of an effort to find their missing crayons.

I re-sorted crayons the other day. As a result, Micah has a nearly complete set of crayons. Ellie does not. Ellie tried to insist that some of Micah’s crayons were hers, despite the big black “M” on all of them. Great amounts of whining, crying and general unpleasantness ensued. But no matter how much I try to force it into her get it into her head explain gently that if she put her things away carefully she’d be able to find them when she wants them, she just doesn’t seem to get it.

On a related note, I have not had great success in getting the girls to pick up their playroom. About an hour ago they were running wild in the living room. When I suggested they go up to their playroom, Micah explained, “But it’s too messy!” Nice.

Cause and effect. A simple concept. Or so you’d think.